#15 Your Band

There is no doubt in my mind that you’ve heard these words:

“HEY {your name or ‘dude’}, I’m in a band. I play {insert instrument}. We have a show {enter day}. The show starts around 9ish? I’m not sure when we go on. You should really check it out, you’ll love it!*”

This person isn’t a close associate of yours. I know this because close friends already know their buddy is in a band and where they are playing. You will also know if said-friends are any good, and whether you truly enjoy their indie/funk-infused/metal-with-poignant-lyrics “sound.”

In Portland, EVERYONE is in a band. Take five seconds and think of someone you know in a band (coincidentally, you probably can’t remember the current band’s name). Have you ever seen them play? Did you become a fan? Great! Don’t tell ME that you thought their last show at Ash Street Saloon was amazing and I have to go see them tomorrow night at some house party in SE.

Are you in a band? Well, unless you played to a sold out crowd (I will count a packed Tonic), you suck. I can’t tell you how many amazing musicians I’ve seen who are terrible performers. This scenario can also take place vice versa. The band puts on an entertaining show but their music makes you cringe. However, the latter scenario (music good, show bad) is apparently acceptable in the Portland music scene.

Thanks to MySpace, Portland’s once great music scene is being flooded with Shins-wannabes. Most shows that I’ve seen around town usually play in a 3-4 band billing. One band is good (they still haven’t seen an audience of +500), but the others are patchwork-bands that met on Craigslist. Each venue TRIES to target a certain market, but will accept any band that can bring a dozen more thirsty 21-30 year olds to their bar Tuesday night.

I’ve created a simple set of rules for every budding band in Portland to follow:

P.I.S.S.
PRACTICE six months before your first show
IMPLEMENT stage antics for those who came to watch the headliner
SIT and watch the bands to see what makes for a successful show.
SLAM beers during practice, not before a show.

*I would love to add these super lame local band promotional comments.
“Bring all your hot friends”, “We are playing with another band called {insert name that begins with The} and they are really good”, “its hard to describe our sound” and/or my PERSONAL FAVORITE, “We aren’t like anything you’ve ever heard before”