Posts Tagged 'trailblazers'

#85 Tanking


Note: This was posted in 2012. Tanking got us the 2013 Unanimous R.O.Y Damian Lillard! Tanking is awesome!

Last night, was a personal low for me as a Po’Zers fan.  With only a few games remaining in the 2012 season, I was excited to see our team face off against the #1 team in the West.  The 2012 Spurs have surpassed everyone’s expectations with their cruise into the post season.  This was an excellent chance for our young roster to play upset and gain momentum for next season.  After the first quarter, the Po’Zers were down by 13 points.  So, I decided to watch something more basketball related than what I was currently watching, “Khloe and Lamar: Lamar vs. Lakers.

The Trailblazers started to tank the season on March 15th, 2012

  • Marcus Camby for Hasheem Thabeet, Johnny Flynn and the Rockets 2012 2nd round draft pick
  • Gerald Wallace for Mehmet Okur, Shawne Williams and the Nets 2012 1st round draft pick
  • Waived Greg Oden
  • Waived Chris Johnson
  • Fired Nate McMillan

When I learned we had lost two starters for garbage, I couldn’t believe it.  My diehard Po’Zers fan explained to me how big those draft picks are.  News outlets would share the same sentiment, “It’s all about the ping pong balls.”  Dumping Greg Oden felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my knees.  As cursed as we are, we didn’t need Bowie 2.0 lurking in the shadows.

However, firing Nate McMillan ended up being the best decision all day.  As we all know, Nate McMillan sucks.  You think you like McMillan, because he’s been around for so many years, but all he does is lose.  He can win with losers, but he can’t win with winners.

The most important thing to note from all this; our city’s only professional franchise is looking towards the future.  The Po’Zers have multiple picks in a draft full of talent, rising stars and two marquee players heading into next season.  They are currently courting top notch GMs to bring about this change.  Still, it’s such a disappointment to see a team purposely tank their season. Hopefully, Tank gods will notice our sacrifice and lift the curse for a couple of years.

#76 Nate McMillan

It appears that the 2009-2010 season will need another huge prayer of hope just to lose in the first round of playoff action. This season has seen a mass drop in production from marquee players, mostly due to injury. The Natural, The Vanilla Gorilla, Webster, Batum, Rudy, Outlaw, Greg Oden’s penis, etc. have all taken some terrible hits this season. Never in my life have I seen a team literally fall apart at the wheels.

Injuries Schminjuries!

There is only one person to blame for this horrific fall out, and that is Head Coach Nate McMillan*.

Team  Year  W–L%  Finish  PG  PW  PL  Result 
SEA 2000–01 67 38 29 .567 5th in Pacific Missed Playoffs
SEA 2001–02 82 45 37 .549 4th in Pacific 5 2 3 Lost in First Round
SEA 2002–03 82 40 42 .488 5th in Pacific Missed Playoffs
SEA 2003–04 82 37 45 .451 5th in Pacific Missed Playoffs
SEA 2004–05 82 52 30 .634 1st in Northwest 11 6 5 Lost in Conf. Semifinals
POR 2005–06 82 21 61 .256 5th in Northwest Missed Playoffs
POR 2006–07 82 32 50 .390 3rd in Northwest Missed Playoffs
POR 2007–08 82 41 41 .500 3rd in Northwest Missed Playoffs
POR 2008–09 82 54 28 .659 1st in Northwest (tie) 6 2 4 Lost in First Round
Career 641 360 363 .498 22 10 12

As the only Pro team in Portland for the past couple of decades, Blazer fans have become obsessed with a NBA championship. I can go on and on about the history of barely getting there (17 point lead!?!?), but the discussion isn’t about triumphing over adversity. This is about us dumping the Captain of Crap. You will notice in the diagram what most die hard Blazer fans already know. McMillan hasn’t won shit. A coach is not supposed to be a leader in “Missed Playoffs.” The Portland Trailblazer coach is supposed to lead us to the playoffs and win us a championship. That is not the coach we currently have in place.

Are we to let us fans look at this current injury list as an excuse to let McMillan off the hook? Absolutely not! He can’t make in-game adjustments. The roster changes are so outrageous, even curly red-fro Blazer dancer scratches her head. Portland is crumbling under the poor leadership that McMillan has to offer. History has shown that no matter what happens, we are not going to win a championship under him. What do you think?

*The Strength Trainer is a close 2nd

#67 Lakers Fans

n19709813_33469515_8173To all my friends, family and coworkers who are from the State of California,
I’m sorry to confess:

I’m a Californist.

My heart has learned to open up a little and become more open minded to people from California. Your views and tanned skin might be a different than mine, but I accept your existence. I understand that you moved to Portland because of our affordable living. Portland needs a little tweaking to be perfect in your eyes, and I accept the contributions you’ve made to our State. What irritates the $@%* out of me is how quickly you resort to a “Better-Than-You” attitude when the LA Lakers come to town.

Since the 80’s, we’ve had to put up with you snotty Laker fans due to their yearly visits during the NBA season. But it was in the 90’s that the Los Angeles Lakers and Portland Trailblazers were also consistently facing each other in the playoffs that the Lakers’ fan became really super ultra douchey. Enter the 2000 Western Conference Finals.

Down by 13 in the fourth quarter of Game Seven in the Western Finals, Portland suffered the greatest collapse in NBA history. “Kazaam” led his team to the improbable win. The Lakers would become NBA Champions for the first time since 1988. It was the beginning of two great teams going in two completely opposite directions.

Recently, the Lakers haven’t had much to look forward to in Rose Garden Arena. Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson blame the weather for its impact on the Lakers’ recent performances here. They have not won a game here in the past four years.

As if their performance wasn’t a claim to lame, their California transplant “faithful” are. You can spot them a mile away.

  • 24-Hour Fitness gym rat who wears yellow and purple shorts
  • Orange skinned girl wearing a pink Lakers jersey at Buffalo Wild Wings
  • Fat guy wearing #24 at pretty much any Portland home game

So you recently moved to Portland from California? Do yourself a favor and leave your LA Lakers gear at home. Stop being that guy/girl. You are openly giving us two visible reasons to hate you.

#54 Greg Oden’s legs

In the City of Roses, there are few things that affect each and every Portlander.  Examples are limited to: Mayor Tom Potter’s decisions, Burnside bridge construction, gentrification and transplants from California.  But recently, there has been one thing that hardens the heart of all Portland denizens… and it involves the legs of Greg Oden.

Mr. #1-Pick-in-the-2007-Draft has been plagued with injuries since he joined the Portland Trailblazers.  In what was supposed to be his rookie season, the Rose City King could be found cooling his heels (and knees) on the sidelines. Oden underwent micro-fracture knee surgery before the 2007 season began, and if you are unfamiliar with this type of surgery, just Google it and you’ll find a plethora of Greg Oden knee articles.  When the news broke out about Great Oden’s Knee it was a massive let down.

Poised for a return to Rip City, Blazer fans were hoping to firmly put the last decade of play in the past.  The Trailblazers have suffered from numerous setbacks to the program since the Jailblazer days of “medical” marijuana, domestic disputes and all-around bad attitudes.  Each passing season led this city to believe all hope had been lost. There was a glimmer of greatness from Rookie of the Year, Brandon Roy, who provided sparkle on and off the court.  And then, the impossible. Portland’s good luck magically extended to the NBA Lottery draft in which the Blazers pulled the #1 draft pick.  This meant the 7’1″ dominating beast from Ohio State University would now wear black and red.  People smiled.  Season ticket sales went up.  Angel’s got their wings.

Now, a year later, with training camp in session, the starting lineup appears to be Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, Martell Webster, Stephen Blake and Greg Oden heading into preseason.  BUT then, as once again Portland sits on the brink of an awesome season, Oden is plagued by another injury. This time, it was an ankle “tweak”.  Front page of the Oregonian. Portland gasped. Babies cried.  The city of Cleveland called and gave Portland it’s condolences.  It was that bad.  The air seemed different and hope was lost.

It remains to be seen how well Oden has recovered from the difficult surgery of ’07. Will he be our saviour or another Sam Bowie? The Blazers are loaded with young talent from around the world.  However, our return to the playoffs will come from a dominant offense lead by gentle giant, Greg Oden.  Get well soon, magical Legs of Oden. Portland’s ready for a return to Rip City.

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