#39 NW 23rd Ave.

Salon-> trendy restaurant-> clothing boutique: wash, rinse and repeat. It might as well be the motto for our most pretentious street in the Portland city limits. With an overwhelming amount of business targeting West/Nob Hill clientele, NW 23rd Ave. has become Portland’s Rodeo drive. When I say Rodeo drive, I of course mean the tattooed/greasy/tight black pants hipster version. Now on to the inconvenient truth about NW 23rd.

Attention needs to be directed towards 23rd’s dying street infrastructure. Potholes grow here like acne on a 9th grader. Avoid this stretch of street at all costs due to the sinking pavement between Burnside and Thurman. Major road improvements have been suggested, but ultimately shot down due to neighborhood concerns. Can you imagine construction shutting down even one lane between Lovejoy/Johnson? Traffic would be forced to detour through Nob Hill neighborhoods! Businesses dig in their high heels to any long term solutions as the ensuing drop in customer traffic would financially cripple the owners who face rising building rental/lease rates.

Besides the sinking road grade, pedestrians and bicyclists also feel a weird sense of entitlement USUALLY disobeying posted road signs and street crossings. As if potholes weren’t enough, you now must dodge a constant stream of shopping enthusiasts looking to be seen on 23rd.

As the big retailers and chain restaurants are drawn to the 23rd area, the smaller shops are pushed out and some of the originality that distinguished the area is lost. There are now several chunks of empty storefronts as you meander down 23rd. The Pearl is now getting the larger chain restaurants and stores, and Hawthorne is getting the trendier, cheaper, funkier businesses.

As the NW 23rd ave sinks, eventually the street and its market, will lose its unique flavor. NW 23rd will bottom out… literally, sinking into a deep dark abyss. Potholes, peds armed with strollers, dogs, red turtle shells and banana peels, you are looking at the real life Mario Kart.

Poor Porsche


9 Responses to “#39 NW 23rd Ave.”

  1. 1 Ryan 01/13 at 1:01 am

    Update — Actually Gordon is right, 23rd has been repaved. Would be interesting to hang out in that area in the weeks while that project was going on, to experience the neighborhood’s reaction…

  2. 2 wes 05/26 at 8:45 pm

    ok dick
    nw 23 is rough but how many millions of dollars are YOU going to spend to tear up rail lines, existing utilities, railroad ties, bodies, dewatering, etc… to fix nw 23rd district that you find oh so entertaining… Oh wait city of Portland already did!!!

  3. 3 gordon 12/03 at 11:29 am

    man seriously i’ve read a bunch of your posts, and i’m starting to think you write this for comedic purposes. some of them are funny but after all your bitching, were you born in massachusetts or something?

    the city is in the process of fixing 23rd, however it is a difficult task that will require some months of work. nw23rd business owners are upset with the time required and hence there is a battle between the two. eventually this will get ironed out, it’s obvious the street needs to be fixed.

    move on mr blogger you’re tiring.

    • 4 joseph 10/27 at 2:27 pm

      Dude dont move on please find more reasons to hate Portland. I dig Mass by the way.

      Your funny and spot on most of the time.

      Fuck Portland.

  4. 5 Ryan Thompson 09/11 at 9:12 pm

    There are a couple places on the south end of 23rd where you can see old street car rails wearing through the asphalt. Its interesting, but yeah, they really need to do something about the wrecked streets.

    Went to Sugoi Sushi on 24th (not 23rd, but close enough) and a group of gay guys came in, the kind that wouldn’t give you the time day unless they liked the clothes you were wearing. FUCK that shit.

  5. 6 TLC Tugger 09/05 at 2:08 pm

    There is always some nice pussy to look at on a nice day though.

    Talent comes out to shop, looking for a new special on cock spoils.

  6. 7 Matt 08/12 at 12:00 pm

    It hasn’t been the same since Coffee People left. I do like Laurelwood though.

  7. 8 Sucknalime 08/05 at 8:51 pm

    Love23rd… BUT true the street is literally falling apart

  8. 9 stitchbunny 06/23 at 3:36 pm

    but 23rd is still fun.
    when you aren’t driving.
    thanks for posting this though, i’ll keep an eye out for the potholes.

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