OFFICIALLY OUT OF BUSINESS!
Let me start off with a little sniplet from Portland’s best bar resource guide, BarFly:
“Great name, but it’s all downhill from there.”
By “name”, I believe they are referring to the marketing, branding and signage from a club that declares itself the top hot spot in Portland. And by “downhill”, they are referring to Bettie Ford Lounge‘s first pitfall, encountered before you even enter the doors.
Are bouncer beat downs your thing? Then this really is the place for you. Bouncers are there to assist in security and deal with disorderly people. In general, these types are under-paid, testosteroned-out and over-caffeinated. Unfortunately, the Bettie Ford kind also automatically hate these two types of people.
- The unattractive chick who is overally intoxicated
- Any guy that isn’t their friend.
If you’ve been here, you know that’s a large majority of people at Bettie Ford lounge. Everyone gets wasted beforehand because their drinks are incredibly weak. For a tasty $5.00 Potter’s Gin and Tonic, expect some disproportionate pouring. Prefunking is a “must” when going to Bettie Ford. Guess this could be the reason that the bouncers are such assfaces to anyone who shows up after 10 p.m.
Since you are coming straight from your “dinner party” (aka prefunk) with friends, you probably either have to go benjo* immediately or will after consuming watered down drinks. Be prepared to wait in long lines with a who’s-who of “future drug/alcohol rehabilitation” participants. The Bettie Ford bathroom experience is one of the WORST I’ve ever been unfortunate enough to endure. Due to the overflow of people from lack of facilities, you end up in line with “The Cryer”, “Wall Leaner”, “Puker” and/or “Weak Bladder”. Also, the dark and “flattering” lighting of the club gives way to a neon and white bathroom area that will singe your eyes with a 1,000 watt glare.
All bar areas in Bettie Ford are ridiculously small for the amount of patrons, leading to a crush of bodies at the bars, most particularly the dance club bar. Don’t plan on a bathroom break/drink refill at the same time, or you will be gone from the table/dance floor for at least 30 minutes. Which might be a blessing in disguise because you will miss out on the lame, generic dance tunes being played. If you do shell out for the VIP and bottle service, which unlike other cities, is rarely available in Portland, be prepared to also be unimpressed.
Another annoying issue at Bettie Ford is the smoking situation. Which is basically a 5×8 area of uncovered concrete sidewalk. You would think that with the amount of people packed out there, the management would have figured out a better solution for the smoking clientèle.
But no, like most of the other long-standing problems at Bettie Ford, don’t expect any changes soon.
Don’t think these two links are the interchangeable, Bettie Ford’s is the place for you:
*Japanese translation for “potty”