#10 Burnside St.

In the early years of Portland, Burnside St. was known for the liquor, whores and sailors that traveled up from the docks. Now, B St. is known as an intersection between the gritty Portland of old, and the gentrifying Pearl. Dive bars and shelters are competing with chain restaurants and condos. This means more people, cars, and bikes on Burnside and nearby streets. Currently, the city is remedying this problem by fixing his derelict bridge, adding new neighborhoods, and new streetlights.

Unfortunately, Burnside, is still one big pothole. Traversing this street can cause the stress levels of even a Beaverton resident to rise. There are few left hand turns, and inevitably you’ll get stuck behind some douchebag for 10 minutes trying to turn across traffic.

Walking over I405 bridge on foot, is death. Crosswalks always flash red before you’ve had the chance to reach the other side. In the day you will encounter drunk bums on the sidewalks, and in the evening… drunk scenesters. It is a wonder (and a travesty for the human race) that the lines in front of Aura and Ringlers have not been taken out by a swerving car. Clearly, B St. was never intended to be pedestrian friendly.

Burnside street IS the drunk, inappropriate uncle of Portland’s streets. He’ll come to your family gathering, driving on a suspended license from his 2nd DUI. He’ll also bring a hooker.

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17 Responses to “#10 Burnside St.”


  1. 1 Cat Dynes 04/09 at 5:43 am

    One of the worst things that truly suck about Portland are non-natives trashing the city and the unchecked hypercondification,gentrification and Californication of the city . It especially sucks when transplants have little regard, appreciation or respect for the local existing culture and history of Portland. The other things that SUCK ,is the spoilage of the quality of life we once had here, due to the influence and influx of consumerist , anti environmentalist ,profiteering opportunists ,who market Portland to wealthy elitists, as the place to FLEE to . Like my friend, a refugee from Pasadena, California once said: “I came up here in the “90s to get away from all that s##t, and now its here.” Exactly. Now Portland SUCKS because of overcrowding, real estate hyperinflation and hyper development ( of CONDOS), hyperdensity , diminishing affordable housing, graffitti, conspicuous trash and littering, and of course the ubiquitous lack of PARKING in most residential neighborhoods within the metro area. Why , because of the Pro business values of the outgoing ADAMS administration who enacted public policy that catered to out of state property developers and investors that only care about their bottom line. Those of us who grew up here and have family history and roots here, can see the progressive degradation of the Rose city. Its times like this when I reach back into Oregon and Portland history and recall the words of great statesman, Republican progressive Governor and , environmentalist Tom McCall when he said:” Come visit us again and again. This is a state of excitement. But for Heavens sake, dont come here to live.” Now I know exactly what he meant.

  2. 2 Eduardo 08/09 at 2:26 pm

    Bad writing

  3. 3 Lawty 03/07 at 11:45 pm

    You’re not from here, are you. It’s assholes like u that make people think we’re stuck up and you’re probably not even from here. Fuck off!

    • 4 Paul Johnson 03/08 at 8:31 am

      Hah, I thought I was the only one picking up on that. I mean, Portland’s a gritty, drunken, druggy city whose only redeeming quality is a mass transit system that only serves 20% of the population. Not much has changed in this city since I was born in that regard at all save for now there’s a denial problem and the economic disparity is worse now as a direct result.

    • 5 Forte101 03/20 at 5:29 pm

      It is best for transplants to ignore all Portland/Oregon natives. It is a huge waste of time and energy even talking to natives.

      They aren’t worth it…none of them. They would just as soon kick you in the shins than invite you to break bread.

    • 6 baloouriza 03/21 at 6:14 am

      There’s nothing wrong with tourists. We like ’em. But there’s this thing called “wearing out your welcome.” Go home when you’re done visiting if you want respect.

  4. 7 Paul Johnson 09/19 at 9:33 am

    Burnside’s not that bad if you accept it is what it is, and that three rights always make a left in any one-way grid, even if you’re on a two way street.

  5. 8 whogives aphuck 01/29 at 9:15 am

    portland kicks ass. i have been to many places in this world and think Burnside is one of the safest ‘high crime’ areas. so, shut your pie hole and look for the positive things in life. if you can not find it in portland then move. idiot.

    • 9 Forte101 03/20 at 5:32 pm

      Burnside is a high crime area?

      It is grimy and really dirty but high crime? Most of Portland is dirty. The rains wash a ton of garbage off the curb where it just festers around the drains.

      Why can’t Portland clean out the gutters after a big rain? It is disgusting to open your car door and be faced with trying to jump onto the curb or put your foot on the garbage.

    • 10 baloouriza 03/21 at 6:14 am

      So take the bus and quit bitching.

  6. 11 Ryan Thompson 09/12 at 3:03 am

    Has anybody else heard the old joke, “What is a Burnside Cadillac? A shopping cart.”

  7. 12 Sucknalime 08/05 at 7:49 pm

    I think the last thing this “city” (if u want to call it ) needs is to complain of how busy the streets get…its a ghosttown. The people here are the most passive people I have ever met…not really sure if they’re high or just rednecks

  8. 13 mama 07/28 at 1:54 pm

    I think you were a little easy on the city. I can think of ALOT more things to dislike about Portland. you never once mentioned of fake and snotty the people that live here are?
    OH! and how ignorant most white people are here and what’s considered a racial slur.. I find people in Portland very ignorant and think they’re being ‘pc’ when in fact they’re just making sure we all know that they ignorant and better than you!

  9. 14 Phuck Yew 07/24 at 7:43 pm

    “It is a wonder (and a travesty for the human race) that the lines in front of Aura and Ringlers have not been taken out by a swerving car.”

    …awesome.

  10. 15 ramalaka 03/17 at 6:11 pm

    Well, well, I like the rants on the ‘most-over-complimented-city-in-the-US”

    Let’s see more on:
    – terrible drivers: turn signals optional
    – parking the wrong way on a street – which means causing accidents with other car drivers and smashing cyclists

    – smoking in bars: even Chicago, with its above-per-capita smokers to to non-smokers ratio is cleaner than the smug, we -are-more -health conscious than thou Portland

  11. 16 Tyler 03/16 at 2:10 am

    Very true. Glad I found your blog. What I hate about downtown Burnside is that it is so stinkin hard to turn off of. So many of the cross streets will be no left turn, so you have to back track for 4 blocks in traffic.


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