#8 Congressman Earl Blumenauer’s Bow Tie

earlblumenauer.jpgYou don’t get more Portland than our patron saint, Congressman Earl Blumenauer. As our Federal representative for the eastside, Blumenauer has lead the environmental movement throughout Oregon. Public land rights, renewable energy and Global warming issues are on the forefront of Congressman Blumenauer’s political ticket. As long as he continues to be the voice of Portland in US Congress, E.B. will never lose his seat. Like Portland, E.B. is pretty darn awesome, but there is still something super sucky about him. The Bow Tie.

This ribbon of formal attire was introduced in the 17th Century. Originally adopted as a scarf, upper class Frenchmen would modify the configuration becoming our fave congressman’s clip-on regalia.* James Bond would increase the bow tie’s popularity in Western culture. As soon as clowns, male strippers and PeeWee Herman jumped on the neck garb band wagon, the bow tie would lose respect and relevance.

How Portland is that neck tie (or even more relevant, How does E.B.’s neck tie define Portland)? When you think about our city and the mass army of hipsters growing within it’s walls, E.B.’s choice in tacky throat covering sets him apart from other representatives. If he is to represent our dynamic city with his dynamite look, then I’m all for it. But generally, neck ties blow.

*We can now blame another thing on the French.


11 Responses to “#8 Congressman Earl Blumenauer’s Bow Tie”

  1. 1 Sam Hassock 07/21 at 1:14 am

    Love his votes, hank god the leader of the progressive caucus understands that SS needs to go. Yeah, thanks, you fvcking bow tie wearing asssucker.

  2. 2 The Dude 11/23 at 11:16 am

    So the story goes:
    When pondering a political career, The Earl hired a political consultant who proposed that our middling character needed to come up with a “theme, something recognizable that will stick in people’s minds, like a bow tie.” Rumor has it that the creative spirit was so, um, uninspired that the “bow tie” became, literally, the Bow Tie.

    Maybe the bike pin is more original. At least I appreciate his votes.

  3. 3 Zeke Krahlin 09/23 at 9:56 pm

    “Clowns, male strippers and PeeWee Herman”…gotta love it!

  4. 4 Lainie 03/17 at 7:26 pm

    Very Tucker Carlson? Can I have some of what you’re smoking? Earl was working his @ss off for Oregon when Tucker was still watching Sesame Street.

    I think the bow tie is keen- it says ‘I am who I am, and I’m not you’.

  5. 5 Sam 03/17 at 5:35 pm

    Things that suck: bandwaggoning on the anti-French train. Why do people hate on the French? It’s the kind of nationalist bullshit that leads to “Freedom Fries.”

  6. 6 Mi Neurosis 03/16 at 4:34 am

    I kinda like it. Very Tucker Carlson, y’know?

  7. 7 Arby 03/15 at 10:49 pm

    You forgot to add “All the people from the midwest and California that move here.”

  8. 8 JollyOldMan 03/15 at 2:46 pm

    Bluemanure sucks all the way around even as a congressman. He is an embarrassment to the human race. He has done more harm to Oregonians than Vera Katz. Replace him now!

  9. 9 jonesview 03/13 at 9:11 pm

    I’ve known other people from Portland who wore bow ties. I think it’s a Portland thing.


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