A place for people to gather and share their dislikes of this crazy awesome town.
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Will I’m pretty sure you’re NOT originally from the East Coat (let alone NYC, which, as I already stated, I am) and you also need some serious anger management therapy.
I know you’re not a New Yorker because you love cars and driving. Many REAL New Yorkers never learn to drive (again, I’m one of them) and rely solely on public transportation (or bike, it’s quite popular therw, too). We also regard Boston OR Philly (a cesspool, except for the Mainline) as vastly, even laughably inferior.
While I agree that the food here is lacking (the entire point of my post, BTW)—Portland has and does have arep as a food town. It just doesn’t live up to the hype.
As for your attack on all us “libruls”, every city you mentioned (except maybe Dallas) is just as progressive, if not more so. I can’t think of asingle Mis-Atlantic city that doesn’t invariably vote blue.
I’ve also been panhandled many, many times by white people in NYC—and what difference does it make what skin color someone has, anyway? It would seem by your infinitely ignorant posts your NY knowledge has been gleaned from a tourism pamphlets and your “visit” was a layover at JFK.
One fnal note: NYC has a lower minimum wage than Portland does, there are many, many poor people there. Just it hurts even more. And no, I wasn’t one of them.
Oh I forgot, San Francisco is another notable city to check out where you would be hard pushed to find a yokel or redneck (unlike Stumptown where you’re likely to run into one on virtually every block).
If you have to be in the midwest then really Chicago’s your only real option if you want any kind of sophistication and worldliness, otherwise it too is a cultural wilderness much like the rest of Oregon.
Sorry to be harsh on little Portland but the truth can sometimes hurt, and I’m only telling it as I see it. I’ve travelled the world and it has to be said that the USA is a vast country physically but lacks any real substance, it is a moral and cultural void (with the exception of the three cities I mentioned) and PDX is just a reflection of the larger picture.
Anouska, I’ll agree that NYC is far more sophsiticated (for what it’s worth) and I’ll never understand HOW we acquired our reputation as a food town (our restaurants really, really SUCK). And yes, people here are a bit provincial and xenophobic (though as a former New Yorker, there’s plenty of that in Brooklyn, Queens and Long Island, too!)….BUT I have to disagree with your post after that.
SF, NYC and Chicago are filthy cities full of painfully rude people. And plenty of those cities’ inhabitants are far stinkier than the faux hippies here. I actually don’t even notice THAT many hippies here (and I live in SE)—everyone I see is either painfully suburban mall or dressed to go camping (permanently).
While I’ll agree neither of these are sartorial efforts I seek to emulate, they are, at least clean.
And while, no it isn’t nirvana here (nor is it anywhere) and we could certainly use some more entertainment (that isn’t stupid soccer and stadiums built with urban renewal funds/our $$$$ for the next 1,0000 years)—it’s a perfectly pleasant life. And (contrary to what everyone’s convinced themselves) for a coastal city, an affordable one.
Zumpie: Portland doesn’t HAVE a reputation for anything, let alone food. Your thinking of NYC – a great town full of great people and the best food. If you’re broke they will chew you up and spit you out though. Just how it should be.
Portland is a quaint, pretty little city. Some interesting architecture and nice greenery. It is, however, full of grubby hippies full of their own self-importance and bitter about their miserable social standing. I’ve never seen a city packed with so many unsophisticated, provincial yokels who believe that they are learned, hip and oh so well informed.
The only city in this God forsaken country even worth checking out is NYC. It is, at least, packed with culture, diversity and people who look as if they shower on a daily basis. New Yorkers might be perceived as rude and unfriendly but you know where you stand with them, they are authentic. The majority of Portlanders are passive aggressive, spacey and fake. The stinking hippies aren’t about peace and love, even though those are the virtues they apparently expound. They’re more interested in getting stoned or drunk, living in squalor and bitching about people with money. God, I hate this shithole… can’t wait to leave the cesspit of humanity that is PDX.
i’m a native of portland; born here and lived here all my life. i’m also not of drinking age, so i can’t write about that. but i do want to respond to some stuff i’ve been seeing pop up here.
1. the people: i’ve never had trouble getting to know people in this city. personally, i think it’s a lot friendlier than seattle or new york. what i’ve found is everyone will talk to you if you’re happy and they’re happy too. but not everyone is going to be your best friend all at once, and very few people are going to want to jump into your life upon the first meeting. but people are nice in general; that’s been my experience.
2. the fashion/lack thereof: portland is not a fashion mecca. neither, for that matter, is new york, paris, or london. in every city you’re going to find impeccably dressed people, cutting-edge fashionable people (which could fall under the next category of), people who simply don’t care and wear weird clothing, and people who should be wearing a little more. that’s just the way life is. if a city’s advertised as fashionable it’s because there’s a certain segment of people who are indeed classy and show it off and some newspaper/blogger/travel mag took note. that’s really it.
3. things to do: if you can’t find it, you’re looking in the wrong places. portland’s got theatre, art, music (we have a fantastic underground scene), bike trails, bookstores, interesting stores, etc etc and so forth. there is something to do in the city, you just need to look for it.
in fact, i think that can apply to a lot of things about portland (and perhaps cities in general). if you want to do something, you need to seek it out. people are not going to walk up to you and ask to be your friend; you are not going to get fliers in the mail telling you about all the goings-on in town (unless you’re on the mailing list of 1840918 businesses and organizations…). you have to look for it, but what’s there is absolutely amazing.
so yeah. some things suck, but it’s not like other cities don’t suck, either.
Alright, since this appears to be the catch-all post for random comments, I’ll spew my blarg here.
I’m tired of Portlanders and Oregonians in general bitching about Californians coming to town and screwing everything, from housing prices to traffic, right the hell up. First of all, the population is expanding everywhere – you’re not just going to make it go away with passive-aggressive comments on the internet. Do you wanna know why so many of us want to flee California? Because everyone else, from everywhere else, is coming HERE! And for the record, I’ve never heard anyone in California bitch about “those a-holes from Michigan.”
So why do Californians come to Portland? Is the real estate investment? Not likely… UGB and zoning laws put a nix on a lot of those McMansion plans. Is it the jobs or the weather? LOL! It sure as hell ain’t the hospitable attitude, as you’ve all made it abundantly clear what you think of us. No, what drives MANY Californians to your fare city is that they actually like the city! They don’t want to live somewhere “exactly like where they came from”… they want to live somewhere exactly like Portland. That’s as good as it gets folks. You don’t get a better kind of immigrant than that, and if you still have a problem with it, well it’s your problem, not ours.
I realize I’m making generalizations, but you need to understand that more people than you think are coming to Portland because they WANT to. The love it’s old neighborhoods, it’s funky neighborhoods, it’s trendy neighborhoods. They like it’s “weirdness”. (They probably don’t like the stinky hippies or the hipsters… that’s universal in its douchiness. Sorry.) So try not to be so reflexive when you here the word “California”, and we’ll try extra hard not to drive like a-holes when it’s raining.
Signed,
Your-Future-Neighbor
Great link to the article about the Seattle Freeze. Yes, Portland is ice cold and not just to people, it is ice cold to businesses as well. This is why Oregon always has such a high unemployment rate and so few people in such a geographically large state.
I believe that both states suffer from the same cultural affliction. Natives of both states fled from populated areas to live alone in the woods. Those cultural tendencies have been passed down to the current population. These people do not mix well with others including each other.
Tree hugging is real except that it isn’t about the environment, people in Portland commune with trees because they can’t deal with other people including each other. That’s a pretty sad thing to say about people but it is true nonetheless.
I think the other cause of the deep freeze is that, at least in Oregon, natives have absolutely nothing interesting going on. There is nothing to do. Part of their lack of sociability is embarrassment that they have lived in the area their entire lives and haven’t found anything interesting to do.
Most Oregonians, I have found, do not travel far from where they started off as kids. They do not have any interest in other places, even as close as twenty miles away, and they have some deep seated fear of other people. I find Oregonians to be culturally very similar to people in the Deep South or Appalachia. I suspect their ancestors came from similar places.
It is best to ignore all native Oregonians whenever possible. Unfortunately, they populate the government so you have to deal with their listless, uninterested and often rude mentality every now and again but there is no reason to try and make friends with them. There are enough ‘outsiders’ from other places unless you need tons of friends.
Oregonians are tolerable in small doses but there is no reason to invite them into your home. I have done business with the natives and will not make that same mistake twice either.
A word to the wise, treat Oregonians as an alien species. Tolerable, sometimes an interesting curiosity but nothing to let into your circle.
There is nothing to do in the entire Portland area. Just how many times can you look at another tree?
Yes you can bike around the place but you risk getting hit by a car since there are so few separated bike lanes. Since it rains almost all year long (1000 hours a year, more than any other city in the country) you can only bike for about a month a year without wearing a raincoat.
Who wants to bike wearing a raincoat? Why aren’t there bike lanes separated by, you know, cement from, you know, the army of gas guzzling SUVs? There is always a report about some cyclist getting hit by a car. It isn’t a fair fight. The cyclist almost always dies.
Portland has NOTHING to do. NOTHING. There are some restaurants but they have all gone downhill in the last few decades. The well known ones have gloppy food. Too many ingredients in the dishes resulting in gloppy, brownish food.
I tell you, look at the Mayor of Portland. He NEVER smiles. He always looks ANGRY. If that is the visage of the Mayor of Portland, doesn’t that tell you everything? Portland is depressing.
Even with all of this, Portland is 1,000 times the city that Tigard is. Tigard is just gross. Tigard city government is useless. Tigard people are worthless.
In comparison to Tigard, Portland looks like Nirvana. Funny how that works.
Thanks you all…this site is fantastic. It makes me laugh every time.
I love things about Portland…but really, it’s more fun to hate. And Erik, you are the best.
Well having tried to make a go of it for 4 years here I certainly understand the comments. Jengee who married a 4th gen PDXer said ‘problem with people bitching about Portland is they didn’t grow up here and they just want it to be like where they came from’. Nope, you’re wrong about that. Your take is clouded by having married someone with an ‘in’. If you don’t have an ‘in’ you are OUT. People are friendly here, but forget personal relationships. Not happening.
See this http://tinyurl.com/pooey2
This is a great article. I’m going through the Portland freeze myself. I haven’t quite overcome it, even though I’m native!
6. Your shitty mass transit system. Hi, I’m the max, a retarded above ground train system that goes 10 mph through the city of Portland. Explain to me how it couldn’t go underground, you know, like how REAL CITIES do their mass transit.
7. Beer snobs. Wow, you have microbrews, good for you. Guess what, I can buy a European beer just as good as your shitty microbrew for just as much money. Just cause you made it doesn’t make it good.
8. Lack of fashion. Yes I said it, The women here dress like fucking slobs. Do they give a shit about how they look? You all look like you’re ready to go hiking rather then dress like a woman. It’s fucking gross.Go to NYC, then you’ll see how women should dress. It’s ok to show some skin and be proud you have tits and an ass. Rain Jackets are not the only option.
Holy shit, you’re a fucking idiot. I agree with a lot of what people are saying here but…
1. Most cities do not have underground transport. Fuck off back to New York, or better yet, try London. London is so awesome. Really, you’d love it.
2. The beer here is good. Better than 99% of what I drank in the UK and the rest of Europe.
3. Go back to New York. Portland, as far as how people dress daily, is on par with most European cities. But if you really want women stumbling around in barely there coverage in 30 degree weather, go to the UK. Then get glassed by their drunken Chav boyfriends.
Or! Try Italy, and get glassed by their drunken Italian boyfriends. Or Spain… you get the idea.
Nope. That peson was right. You are fucked and wrong. I love this:
8. Lack of fashion. Yes I said it, The women here dress like fucking slobs. Do they give a shit about how they look? You all look like you’re ready to go hiking rather then dress like a woman. It’s fucking gross.Go to NYC, then you’ll see how women should dress. It’s ok to show some skin and be proud you have tits and an ass. Rain Jackets are not the only option.
It’s true. If you had ever been to NYC you would know that the dirty, homeless lesbian look is not IN there. I have been to Austria, Germany, France and England this year. It’s not big there either. There is nothing good, unique or European about the fashions of Portland. Everyone here is too broke or stupid to catch on to any trends anyway. Seattle does a much better job. But hey, the rest of the world has actually HEARD of Seattle. Not Portland. Go back to your farm and stop thinking you are hot shit because you live in the largest city in Oregon. It’s kinda like being the biggest turd in a toilet.
The bloggers-the blogging-the blogs.
Well…All interesting posts. I’d have to say I love this website because I like to laugh at things that are annoying. I am one of those migrators who read books, articles, and blog posts of how grand everything is in Portland and after reading this site and living here for 2 years I’ve come to realize two things …
1) Portland is awesome. There is so much stuff to do. Yes it takes what seems to be an exhausting effort to do anything (Ever got up at 5am to hit the chair lift by 9 at Meadows?) but, at least its here. There is an amazing mix of city/outdoor life here, but that comes at the sacrifice of time and money spent. I’d lived in places where I had outdoor fun at my finger tips (literally a 5 minute drive on some obscure dirt road and I was all alone in the wilderness. That happens when you grow up in a mountain town of 1400 people). I’ve also lived in exciting cities with great restaraunts, bars, concerts, and loads of entertainment. Yet, I’ve never lived somewhere that mixes the two. I believe Portland does a great job of that.
2) People here are difficult. Clique-ish so hits the nail on the head. It’s ridiculous. I totally agree that people here are friendly but, on an extremely shallow level. Ask them if they’d like to carpool to the mountain on the weekend or get a beer while taking in a big sports event and … “My GOD, did I just insult this person? Why are they looking at me as if my upper lip dawns a puss-oozing herpe? I just simply asked if they’d want to hang out.”
I’m an extremely sociable person and love to be around people. I understand that not everyone is going to be my friend and, I too dislike a considerable amount of people (Hipsters, neo-con Meatheads, and Yuppies…to name a few) but, I have never been in a place where it is sooo hard to meet people.
For example, I walk my dog on average 5 times a day (he’s small..got a weak bladder). I have gotten to know what my neighboors look like on my walks. I could match each one of my block-mates’ face to their corresponding house. But, I don’t know anyones name. I have waved, smiled, struck up rehtorical conversation with just about everyone on my block but, as soon as we’re done exchanging pleasantries, they seem to retreat quicker than my own weazel in ice water.
Ok, so I have been reading all the hate about portland, and all the bitching. Its seriously the most pathetic shit in the world. Who the fuck cares. Some of us are from places that are literally a shit hole. Example: Ohio. FUCK OHIO. I haven’t been anywhere in the US besides Portland that i like better. I’ve been everywhere too. New York is way to fucking overrated. rich snobby assholes that have no consideration for anyone. so is LA and Chicago. Mostly everyone from these places are so fucking rude. Nobody gives a shit about anyone. Its all about fucking money. FUCK money. I chose to move here because i want to live happy. Portland is a place where you can ride your damn bicycle to wherever safely. yes the car traffic sucks, thats why you ride a bicycle and learn patience my young padawin. This place is just more friendlier than other places. yes there can be your typical asshole once in a while but the majority of the people here are pretty nice. i hate the suburbs, but who doesnt hate the suburbs around any city. there all the fucking same. yea there are your hipsters, so what, big fucking deal. Get the fuck over it. you cant make them leave, if they like it here then they like it here. learn to share this place with all kinds of people. stop being such a dumb ass and shut the fuck up. if you hate it here, pack up your shit and move the fuck away from here. we don’t need people here who are going to complain about life and how dirty you think it is here and how the transit sucks. who gives a shit. if you think it is dirty here, fucking visit new york, la, chicago, toledo, detroit, columbus, st. louis, kansas city, orlando, cleveland and hundreds of other places. how many cities are the bicycle capital of the United states? how many cities have trees in there city(alot of trees). how many cities have extremely beautiful scenery so close, such as the oregon coast, the gorge, mt hood. there is so much shit you can do here. and if you bitch about the rain, stop being a fucking pussy. its just water. thats why its so green here all year round. if you get depressed over the rain, please just leave. if you wanna see the sun. climb to the summit of any mountain around here. do realize humans only need little sun? and humans are mostly made of water. oh shit. ohhhh. ok well im done about this shit cuz its just retarded. so basically here is my advice to you.. you have choices since you are in america you know. 1 if you hate rain and get depressed over it please get the fuck outta here. 2 if you hate bicyclists get the fuck outta here. move to the fucking midwest you fat ass lazy fucker you needs a car in order to live happy and survive so you can drive to your walmart late at nite and buy all the fucking ice cream you want so you can fucking gain an ass load of weight that way you can buy a bigger car and get the handicapped spots because you need a fucking scooter to maneuver yourself around walmart. oh yeah. and 24hr fitness. you seriously wanna waste your money with that shit. get the fuck out from under the fucking shelter from the rain and go run that shit off, or ride your bike, if you know how to ride one. 24hr fitness… if you like to be a little hefty. be hefty. im not hating people who are fat. im just sick of people who are lazy and complain but dont do shit about it. instead of wasting your time with buying shit how about you give that money up for people who need that have no house to live in and feed them. half of these people probably arnt even from here. they come from other places because somehow they heard that in portland there are people who like to give and feed people and talk with them. i cant believe some of you people can think they are just smelly good for nothing people. alot of them yes are going through rough times with drugs and shit like that. and some lose there jobs because of this good for nothing fucking economy. do you realize if each and everyone american gave up one dollar, it would fucking end world hunger. you know some of these people have no place to go, no one to love them, nobody that even realize they even exist. everyone deserves second chances. this is rediculous, and this fucker whoever made up this fucking website has nothing better to do than hate on a city. a city, a pink building. who gives a shit, its a fucking pink building. if you care about nice buildings go to hong kong or dubai. somewhere far away from here please. 3 i heard something about success in this website. what is success? money? fame? your stupid little career? how big house your is? how nice your car is? success is a joke. its all about those material things. please if you drive a hummer. join the army so you can drive your damn hummer right into a fuckin landmine. thats why people here drive VWs asshole. and vovlvos. you can run the diesels on vegetable oil. guess what that shit grows in ohio, and those people who are running their car dont really have to pay shit for it and it gets you far. you can go drive out east to see the fuckin sun if you want. put 2 and 2 together. it makes since. wake up and smell all the starbucks thats on your corner. that way you can be intelligent and know you dont need alot of money to live and that portland is one of the greatest places ever. why do you think all the other cities are taking after us? think mcfly
No one is taking after Portland. No one cares about portland. Where do you people get this shit? I heard the other day that Portland considers itself to be “the most european city in the U.S.” Oh my god!!!! Apparently most of the people in this town have never been to the east coast: Philly, NYC, Boston: ALL built by EUROPEANS. It looks and feels NOTHING like Portland. This shit hole will always be a big Spokane or a half ass wanna be Seattle and thats all it will ever be. In my personal opinion it actually kind looks like Pittsburgh. But I can say things like that. I’ve actually been outside of the northwest.
jeimuzu: oh shit, I actually just took the time to read your little rant. You really like bikes huh?! I do like biking too. But driving is fun also, especially if you have a license. I take it that you don’t. Fat people, you fucking HATE THEM! WOW. Yeah, me too. Especially on airplanes. Not gonna argue with ya on that one. Here’s my big problem with everything you said: YOU ARE A HATER. A hater? Definition: Wants what he/she can’t have. Is mad it people that have what he/she will never have (is too lazy to work for what they REALLY want). I find that this is most of Portland. I hear people in this town bitching because Seattle is tying to be like Portland. NO. It isn’t. Seattle could give a shit. The rest of the world could also give shit.
jeimuzu: you were born and raised here. You have never spent more that a year ANYWHERE else. This is why you feel this way and this is why you will alway hate what you don’t understand and it is also why you hate people that have what you think you don’t wont. Portland: the only city where it’s cool to be a homeless WHITE guy that stands on the freeway onramp with a sign – the only city where I can stand ANYWHERE in the downtown area, smoking a cig, and know that I will be hit up for one at LEAST 5 times before I can finnish it, ALL BY WHITE PEOPLE!!!!! INSANE!!!
Fuck all you lazy, ignorant, hippy, liberal, Obama loving, knock kneed, bucktooth, smug ass, ugly, bearded, freak ass, sacks of shit! No one outside of Portland likes Portland and most of this world has never HEARD of Portland. They all think your Laking about Portland, Maine- a far better town. Yep town. Neither Portland is an actual city. These are actual cities:
L.A., New York, Chicago, Seattle, Miami, New Orleans, Atlanta, Dallas, Denver, Um, that pretty much does it. Fuck you and die.
Well having tried to make a go of it for 4 years here I certainly understand the comments. Jengee who married a 4th gen PDXer said ‘problem with people bitching about Portland is they didn’t grow up here and they just want it to be like where they came from’. Nope, you’re wrong about that. Your take is clouded by having married someone with an ‘in’. If you don’t have an ‘in’ you are OUT. People are friendly here, but forget personal relationships. Not happening.
See this http://tinyurl.com/pooey2
Another bad habit of these natives, is their PDX version of live and let live. It should read ‘you can do whatever the f*ck you want, because I’m going to do whatever the f*ck I want, even if it means you can’t sleep’ Don’t dare ask a native to turn down a stereo or be considerate, those are fighting words. Passive aggression RULES this town. The overly kid friendly nature of Portland is VERY annoying, I’ve not seen a city with so many self indulgent parents. It is a sickness.
Here is a tip if you just located here. If you are trying to find a job, play down any excellent experience. Do not come off as professional. It may be best to feign a drooling problem, get a temporary tattoo, grow a second ass, don’t make eye contact, say you are in a band, talk about skate/snow boarding (if the 2nd ass doesn’t work out), and finally you MUST change your resume to say you went to the U of OR. They won’t check, they are too farking stupid. Speaking of stupid, no place has more left lane bandits, Erick is right about that, but wrong about food. OR foodstuffs esp during market season, it is one of the best in the US. Maybe it would help if you cook. The lack of rest choice has a lot to do with lack of ethnic diversity. Did all the natives come from Wisconsin ? One other odd thing is how many cases of men with underage girls there are, well I guess with the Mayor it is just younguns. The hair trigger the cops have is indeed very worrying, it must be the passive aggressive thing.
I do have empathy for the any gay guy that looks gay. I think saw one in four years. Bears. And they are pretty grizzly. There are even Lesbian bears in Portland, lots of them. Where else can you live and not have people barf when they see your 3 foot long mole hair braid ?
I still like Portland of course, but c’mon, you have to have known about the weather bit, are you completely ignorant ? The weather is not as bad as Seattle. Subaru Outbacks at least allow view of the traffic ahead unlike big ass SUVs you’ll find in Austin, Texass. Did you visit Portland first ? One visit would tell you how white it is. One nice thing is that white and blacks live together (for the most part) in NE, which is rare in most other cities. Fashion ? It is the pacific nw, what do expect ? For it to change ? My first week here I went to the symphony, 3 people in pajamas. Its just the way it is. You want style ? a 100sq ft apt awaits you in NYC.
I found that avoiding SE meant I didn’t have to endure sharing airspace with hippies and other self focused types. Moving from the close quarters NE to SW was a transforming experience. At that point, portland became a livable city. Still no one wanted to be friends.
So if you have a source income independent of Oregon, like the outdoors, like good food, perfect summers, don’t mind the gray, don’t need friends and want to live somewhere that at least is interesting, this may be the place.