For decades, these vixens of venture capital investors have roamed the Alphabet streets, maintaining their persona of perfection. Oh you pretty little gold diggers, with your double and (sometimes even triple!) wide $4000 strollers and your Gucci diaper bags all for your ugly baby. Juicy Baby can’t hide that face. When not cougaring around for your next play toy you are jogging around Bridgeport in your coordinating Lucy activewear after morning yoga/erotic dance classes. Immediately after this, you grace Peets Coffee where you will hold up the line with your half-caff, non fat, sugar-free half vanilla and half hazelnut latte order while you shuffle through you Louis Vuitton looking for coordinating wallet.
You park your Maserati next to me at Albertson’s then glare at me while I get into my moderately priced SUV as you load your organic veggies and strawberry Go-gurt into what was once considered a fine piece of Italian engineering and has now been caged and turned into your grocery getter. Country Club Road is clogged with your Escalades and Hummers in pearl white and I-try-to-hard yellow (respectively). You consistently travel at least 5-10 miles under the speed limit. All of this just to say ‘Look at me! I’m so rich I am a better person than you’.
Manzana happy hour you say? Sounds great! Plans are instantly foiled because you all have been there since 2pm. Why? Because you don’t work. Why would you? Your father, I mean hubby is OLD and has money and therefore a job is simply out of the question. You have more important things to do. Like Manis and martinis with your token favorite gay friend from SE!
I have never laughed before like I laughed tonight reading these blogs, rants, comments, misspelling and replies..
Thanks a lot to the author if this blog.
i bet reno 55 weighs more than the suv she cant have because no guy with any spine or money would marry her stretchmarked ass. you are why we dont like californians lumbering up here you whale assed bitch. although it seems as though your pimply ass has been kicked around most of the west coast…try new jersey blimpo, you might make a friend there thats not a restaurant/food product. your all ignorance and arrogance,nothing new and nothing more. i eagerly await your overly hostile reply(as soon as you put the spoon down in your emptied haagen daz tub.)
I love, love, love this post! We used to live in L.O. and as I drove to work and watched them jogging or walking in groups like a pack of wolves, I used to snicker about their matching uniforms of black leggings, baseball caps with blonde pony tails, and then yell at them (windows closed, OK?): “Go to work, biatch!”
Best part of my day.
Yes, there are many nice people in the community, but many of them are snotty pants who think they are better than the rest of us. Stereotype, yes, but the truth in many instances. Truth hurts, I guess.
Love this site, by the way. Can’t get enough of those Barbies!
Of course, the city has its own parents who suck – usually the hipster or sensitive New Age parents who let their kids run around,scream, and have temper tantrums in coffee shops.
Disciplining a kid is taboo – it would hurt their indigo aura.
And Random Order on Alberta is the epicenter of this kind of non-parenting.
Also, when did the Alberta district became a lesbian epicenter? o.0
I’m sorry to burst your bubble bill but I have already moved up to Oregon and as of right now I have been enjoying every damn minute of it this state is great clean air no polution zero crime and the list goes on and on I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like Californians or not that is not my fucking problem
Who in the fuck are you to tell me what the hell I should be doing in my life bud this is America goddamn it!!! and I will move and live in the areas I choose to live in it’s people like you who are screwing up this country with their narrow minded ignorance we are not Living in China or Russia were we are controlled and told what to do by elites and contrary to what you have heard not all Californians are jerks bud get a life grow up and leave people alone to make their own choices in life.
Reno — These are just the things about Portland that suck. There’s a lot about Portland that’s good, too. Not sure why you think the city has zero crime, though. Example: You must have heard about the MAX train crime spree that was going on till they started putting more cops on the lines. In then slowly tapered off. Another example is the spike in theft of metal (statues from public parks, etc) by crackheads last year when aluminum and copper hit all-time highs. Remember the statue of Sacagawea that was stolen and later recoved cut-up in pieces?
On another note there’s a stereotype Oregonians believe: All the Californians moving here are airheads from the LA area. Which is false.
I couldn’t give a fuck what part of the state they’re from — they drop tens, if not hundreds, of millions of dollars in the state economy every year.
All of you ought to take a look at this if you haven’t already. Its funny because its got a lot of truth to it.
http://thingsaboutportlandthatsuck.wordpress.com/barbie-dolls/
“You have more important things to do. Like Manis and martinis with your token favorite gay friend from SE!”
Southeast is gay? News to me… Hmm
This whole blog is full of crap I am moving up to oregon asap becuase the life style in cali is just the pits I have had it with the smog, the people, the driving habits of everyone on the roads in my state; were no one has any consideration for anybody else. I should also mention that everything down here is as expensive as hell. California sucks a big one the entire state is nothing but a mudhole except if you live in san fransico or on the coast and you have to be rich to live in those places I would trade places any day of the week with someone living in portland come check out bakersfield you will run back to portland within a matter of hours be happy with portland bud!!!!!!
Actually reno, I found San Francisco to be kind of a hole—and full of painfully rude people, too! On the plus side, Knott’s Berry Farm is a fairly quick jaunt from Bakersfield is it not?
Yes knotts berry farms is not to far away as well as disney land and six flags but then again the LA area is just crazy to many people to much traffic and way to smoggy just like were I live but it beats bakersfield by far actually I go to LA quite a bit I make about several trips a month out of a lack of things to do in bakersfield.
As far as San Fransico goes yes there are rude people there but that is because life in the bay area has become extremly stressful especially over the last twenty years I should know I lived up there for sixteen years myself don’t take anything personal from people up there they are just all burnt out like I am, one of the reasons that I like oregon is because life is really slow and that there is just alot of open nature up there granted there are places like that in california but you know…. though oregon has it’s own drawbacks like the rain but what are you going to do you can’t win everything.
I used to live in washinton for one year so I already know about the weather situation I’ve also lived in Las Vegas and Texas as well and those places you must avoid like the plauge
Reno, what’s wrong with Texas? I’m not defensive I’m asking because my bf is applying for a job in Houston. I have no idea what it’s like there.
Stay in California, we don’t take kindly to your kind!!!
Oh, and Bill, are you even real? Because you talk like a corny old movie.
The best part of all of this is I’m willing to bet $$ that the one’s bitching about the “trophy wives” have loser boyfriends who smoke too much pot and listen to Bob Marley all day. There are haves and have nots in this society and unfortunately some of that has to do with looks. Keep on hating on trophy wives… because guys who are successful don’t tend to choose over opinionated hippie chicks, they tend to prefer an attractive female. Now go smoke a bong and listen to “One Love” and ponder the genius of Bob Marley with your life mate.
Try again–the hubby and I are both hot career type people, leading a clean life and loathing reggae. It IS completely possible to be neither a hippie or a bourgeois plastic—it’s commonly known as “everyone else”.
And since this is a free speech blog with no religious affiliation, I will feel free take whomever’s name in vain I so please. BTW, Mrs. BLO, your (see? that would be correct) really, really bad grammar offends me.
As for my assumptions, I was simply responding to Tracy’s quite humourless responses to the original, very funny post (including her claim that she’s president of the Lake Oswego Moms’ Club). But I do appreciate your efforts to make peace, incendiary as they were.
In Portland… I find that highly unlikely.
Wait, you drive an SUV?
Moderately priced, whatever. Excuses, schmexcuses.
Can I say you are one of the things about Portland that suck?
That’s right I do drive a small suv, and no you may not say I suck. I, am sure that I do way more for my community than you! People like you make Portland suck! Are you even from portland? So, to you I say “hi hater”. Whatever makes youu feel better, and if that means talking about someone whom you don’t know than so bbe it.
Corolla,
Go ooze your hate some place else! I am sure you not a native and probably young and have nothing better to do than hate on others that you probably are jealous of. Why don’t you put positive energy into your universe its much better than all the negative that gets reflected in our world and daily lives currently.
Jesus, Tracy–it’s immaterial whether or not Corolla is a native Oregonian (how painfully provincial of you, BTW), (s)he’s merely contributing to this blog.
You were annoying enough with your previous pathetically thin skinned responses, but now you feel compelled to get all new agey/high school-y? “You’re just jealous”?????
Please be quiet if that’s the best your arsenal has to offer.
Zumpie Uh, 1) Provincial??? REALLY???? You are defending someone do don’t know and agree that one of the things that suck about Portland is people driving a moderately priced SUV.
Wow – For someone who vehemently responds,”You were annoying enough with your previous pathetically thin skinned responses, but now you feel compelled to get all new agey/high school-y?” This is an equal opportunity offender blog doing exactly what it was intended for. I guess this puts you into the category of being all high school-y and provincial!
Why don’t you leave, your odious comments are crude and malevolent. Go waste your time and energy in poisoning some other blog.
“If nothing else, it will give you and your friends something to discuss over drinks besides your mani/pedis.”
Tracy,
It’s very sad that you clearly don’t seem to understand the context that I used “provincial” or (more likely) even what it means. I referred to your rather xenophobic comment of “you’re probably not a native”–which was most assuredly provincial.
I might get a bit high school-y (and certainly smirky), but I am definitely NOT provincial (nor crude). And again, this blog is intended for precisely the sort of comments I posted.
I’ll add, since the snarky appears to offend your ever thinning skin, perhaps it is YOU who should leave. And spend some of your sugar daddy’s $$$ on some book learnin’. Your gold digger looks won’t last forever!!!
Can’t we just get along?! Zumpie…. please don’t use the Jesus’s name in vain. Last but not least Tracy is not a gold digger at all, and her husband is not old at all! Like I stated before ” don’t asume, and know your’re facts”. Stop watching desprate housewives! You are sooooo far fetched with you’re comments. So, I invite you to come join us one day, and then you may be surprised.
Okay… I am a member of the club, and it’s not like that at all. Just because we live in Beautiful Lake O does not mean we are snobs. I don’t want to waste to much time on this but don’t judge untill you know you’re facts dear. I am a proud member, and we don’t all have $4000 srollers! I do have a LV bag (great knock off from NY!), and I enjoy Starbucks! Well, I have to go get in my “05″ used suv and meet my girls for our $30 mani pedi’s! See ya soon Tracy!
If there are any hot Oswego mom’s looking for 27 year old, physically fit hispanic boy toy please contact me.
Keep digging, Tracy…it’s funnier than the (very accurate, apparently) post.
And their better then hippie moms with the dreads and breast feeding their kids to age 5. Just sayin
They’re. Grammar fail
Erick, you fail
You had it right the first time.
Hey, at least they’re not half as bad as the Hip Mamas. They need an entire rant/post of their own.
Hey, I’ll agree on that score, too!
Tracy,
“Now your integrity is in question and how do you fix it? Do you defend yourself to try and educate a group of people that prejudice and know nothing about you, do you not respond to their juvenile responses, or do you do get defensive and obsess about what others are saying to you.”
Uh, 1) integrity??? REALLY???? Over a smirky, equal opportunity offender blog doing exactly what it was intended for??? and 2)I guess you’d be in the latter group, huh???
Learn to take a joke. If nothing else, it will give you and your friends something to discuss over drinks besides your mani/pedis.
I don’t see how offending people is funny
Uh, like I said learn to take a joke. Your complete lack of humour is on full display. It’s called lighten up. Look into it.
Tracy don’t let Zumpie get to you. She thinks she knows absolutely everything about everything. She has snide remarks for every topic that’s getting attention these days. We all know people who think they’re smarter than everyone, and are they really?
Well Pdx alot of things are wrong with Texas let’s first start off with the weather it changes constantly and on a moments notice I might add. If you like to deal with massive thunderstorms, duststorms, and last but not least tornados well then texas is a state for you.
I could never make heads or tails with any of the freeways in Texas either hell I am from california and I could not figure out the road systems in that state.
If you have allergies like I do then Texas should be avoided remember I told you about the dust well…. need I say more and there are no trees to speak of but come to think of it I was out in west texas so…. as far as the rest of the state goes I don’t know? and then texas is not know for being an open minded state most of the people there are pretty much set in their ways and do not care to hear any other opinions that conflict with their own ways of thinking narrow minded is the best way to put it.
I was really never impressed with the state I found the dallas ft worth area to be hollow and darn right dreary, DFW was another issue for me I couldn’t figure the layout of that damn airport as well confusing is what it was.
Another thing about texas is that they have a public drunkeness law as in you are not allowed to be drunk in public and that includes being in a bar please explain this logic to me. Texas is also known as being ultra conservative and I am talking about the far right so if you are not like that well I don’t know what to say (I lived in abilene texas by the way).
I can’t tell you a whole lot about houston but from what I have heard it has a very high crime rate it’s just alot higher then in most cities I am sorry to be so negative about texas as a whole but I hate that state it just sucked for me if you have lived in coastal areas like I have for most of my entire life well you are not going to like texas my advice to you is not to go there it is super hot in the summer and freezing in the winter.
I only lived out in texas for three years and was happy to get the hell out and the only reason I went to that god for saken state was because the military sent me there I was in the air force for three years.
No need to hate on the hot rich moms. I’d sooner nail them then the smelly artsy chicks from Portland.
I find it very sad for those of you who have nothing better to do than slam a club that you obviously know nothing about. Many of the moms do work and about 35% of the moms come from other cities like Portland, Beaverton & West Linn.
And I’m guessing somehow that YOU might be a member of that club, hmmmm????
Not only am I a member I personally started the club and am the current president.
I also find it interesting how judgmental a group of people can be about a specific group of people simply by relating them to a picture that was taken off a photo site called iStock. This website just went live a few weeks ago with this picture. The funny thing is that is in not a picture of any of our moms.
I am positive that you have more in common with these moms and families than you think! I am sure that if you were brave enough to post a picture of yourself that all sorts of negative judgments and assumptions could be made about you but would any of them be true?
Now your integrity is in question and how do you fix it? Do you defend yourself to try and educate a group of people that prejudice and know nothing about you, do you not respond to their juvenile responses, or do you do get defensive and obsess about what others are saying to you.
Hmmmm….
Thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me why I moved away the first minute I had the opportunity, as did all my kids who were forced to live there growing up.
As hard as it is to be around spoiled moms, try being a kid when one of your best friends gets a Hummer for his sixteenth birthday.
I don’t miss it at all.
You’ll also find them taking their precious l’il Emma or Jake to the Portland Children’s Museum—and then becoming outrageously irritated with any other kid that ventures within spitting distance of their sweet, uber-special darling.
Well, that’s because they don’t want the other kids to steal any of that indigo aura. Because, you know, not everyone knows that each and every one of those kids at the Portland Children’s Museum was a virgin birth.
Hahahahahahahah!!!!!